The Weems Weekly
(Whistle Stop, Alabama's weekly bulletin)
November 30, 1935
The Turkey Thief
Hi Gang. Well, I hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving. I know for sure that Wilbur's old hound dog, Cooter, did. Yes, that was him you saw running through town Thanksgiving Day with my freshly cooked turkey in his mouth. The one he had just snatched off the table, the minute my back was turned, trailing my stuffing all through the living room. Honestly, men and their dogs! Thank heavens my next-door neighbor, Ninny Threadgoode, took pity on us and had us over for dinner or Wilbur and I would have gone turkeyless! And not only was Ninny's turkey delicious, we also enjoyed Sipsey's sweet potato pie that Idgie sent over from the cafe. So as Mr. Shakespeare says, "All's well that ends well." Yum yum.
But now to the important news: It seems we have a rare archaeological find right here in Whistle Stop! Where? According to Idgie Threadgoode, right in our very own backyard! Well, the backyard of the cafe, that is. Idgie reports that she and little Buddy were out in the back digging up red worms to go fishing with, when she dug up (hold on to your hats, folks) a five-million-year-old dinosaur tooth! Idgie has it out on display on the counter at the cafe for all to see, so if you want to take a look, go on over.
Good news from the beauty shop: I am also happy to announce that Opal Butts says she finally got the hair dryer to working again, so if you missed last week's hair appointment, she will be working overtime to fit you in. I know the ladies who are going to the Elks Club dinner Saturday night will be happy to hear it. Me, too.
More good news: Sheriff Grady said that other than a few minor mishaps, involving a few of our citizens and too much "Old Man Whiskey," we have been crime free for another year. Thank you, Grady.
Your faithful scribe,
P.S. Don't forget to tell the kids to get their letters to Santa Claus written. Remind them that it's a long way to the North Pole from Whistle Stop, and Santa needs plenty of time to make all those toys.
Later that night, Wilbur Weems, a tall, thin man, was laughing when he came home for supper. As he walked in the door, he said, "Well, Dot, thanks to you, everybody in town was over at the cafe today to see that darned dinosaur tooth."
Dot was putting a bowl of mashed potatoes down by his plate. "I know. I went over myself. Do you think it's real?"
Wilbur sat down and took a swig of iced tea. "Knowing Idgie, I doubt it. She just loves to pull jokes. Remember that petrified two-headed frog she had in a jar last year? I found out later it was rubber."
"No, you don't mean it."
"Oh yeah. She told me she bought it over in Birmingham at the magic shop."
"Oh my," Dot said as she sat down and passed him the cornbread. "What will that girl come up with next?"
"Who knows? But whatever it is, it will be fun, you can count on that."
WHISTLE STOP, ALABAMA
Just like everybody else in town, Dot and Wilbur Weems had known and loved Idgie Threadgoode all her life. Idgie had always been a tomboy, always tall for her age, with short, curly blond hair. From the time she could walk, she'd loved to play sports with the boys and climb trees. Most of the time, she was up in the big chinaberry tree in the front yard of the Threadgoode house or else sitting up on the roof. Her mother said she must be related to a monkey, because Idgie would and could climb anything.
When she was around six, she had been playing over at the rail yard, and that afternoon, when her mother was out sweeping the front porch, she happened to look up as the five o'clock to Atlanta was passing the Threadgoode house, and there sat Idgie on the top of the train waving at her mother as she rode by.
Of course, her mother was hysterical, thinking Idgie was going to fall off and be killed any minute. But luckily they were able to telegraph ahead to the next station, and got her down over at Pell City, safe and sound. Growing up, both Idgie and her younger brother, Julian, had idolized their older brother Buddy. He was the one who had taught Idgie to shoot and fish and play football and baseball. And if anyone dared Idgie to do something, she usually did it. Everyone always said she was very brave for a girl.